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Love is Hot
Truth is Molten
my journal
December 2010

Date: 2010-12-01 11:22
Subject: Discuss This
Security: Public
View From the Tower

This morning, the office is filled with people walking forward and then backward, trying to decided if we need to separately MOCAP a fresh character walking backward or if we can just reverse his animation to save time. I'm not sure what the answer is, but I'm thinking reverse for now. We've been working a lot in Unity recently, and even though my experience with it is limited, it's a really amazing program. I don't, at this point, see a reason to develop in Unreal when a took like Unity exists for SOooooo much less! This is the first time, in years, I've felt excited about developing a home game again. HEXEN remake and impending lawsuit incoming!

This morning, the radio show I listen to was talking about a NASA announcement; perhaps we have proof of life on another plant! I'm think it's going to be like the water-on-Mars thing a few years ago, but even still, it's pretty cool. I guess the speculation is that Titan--our primordial cousin--could hold the key to life, with it's methane oceans and weather systems. Looks like my book is coming true!

Tonight is my last car class for the fall semester. If I don't get the door on tonight it'll have to wait until spring--which, at this point, I'm all about. I still haven't bought new speakers for the car and I'm not keen on driving around without an interior on the front door all winter. The audio shop I talked to quoted me RIDICULOUSLY high for the work, and I'm thinking I could buy stand alone mid-range speakers for a lot less then that place wanted to sell them. Just another case of having to do it myself.

Friday, I'm breaking out my Paladin/Warlock hybrid, Revenant death knight striker/defender. He MIGHT just be the worst D&D character ever. I'm excited. <3 Lhacrimosa!
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Date: 2010-09-07 00:46
Subject: Bridges
Security: Public

*This is a post from the warcraft community. Trolling was getting bad there so I moved it here. Creepy kids need lives.*

I like playing this game. I like my new guild. I like the people I raid with, but now I'm starting to doubt my feelings toward my guildies. Today our tank didn't show up to the raid so we were trying to find a replacement. After we replace him and start the instance, he comes online--we explain the situation and he seems okay with not being in the raid--so ten minutes into the run I see him write in o-chat that he got rid of his cat today.
It can"t end well . . .Collapse )
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Date: 2010-08-26 10:29
Subject: Crucible
Security: Public
Updates and Downloads

It's been a strange long summer, full of adventures and stuff. We canceled TV, Andy got a job and the dog spent two weeks looking pathetic with a cone on her head. Nim died, we took in a stray that's been peeing in our kitchen heating vent, I bought a new phone, and started playing WoW again--this time on my paladin. I spent almost two weeks of bi-polar traveling in Florida, burned through forty-five hours of annual leave and read three books--only one of which I liked.

It's almost September, now, and it's only rained a few days since April, making the leaves on my sickly maple turn early. Renaissance fair in two weeks, Blizzcon a month later. Fuck yes, lets go. High speed.
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Date: 2010-06-03 12:38
Subject: June
Security: Public

I've had a hard week. On Thursday my mom told me that my aunt had died. We weren't close, but she's still dead, and that makes me sad. From what I understand, there is drama between her family and ours too, so I'm not sure what's going on--I do know though that is sucks.

Yesterday, Blizzcon tickets went up for sale. They were sold out within twenty minutes, and we didn't even have a chance. The best part? There are hundreds for sale on eBay for twice the face value, if not more. This shouldn't have been so disappointing to me, but I was looking forward to going. We have had a bit of hard go of it recently, and Blizzcon was the thing I was using to avoid responsibilities.

Nim went in for another x-ray today and his hip is bad. It's pretty much gone. The vet suggested we put him down within a weeks time because it's close to fracturing and that would be bad way to go. I'm really really sad to see him go. I wish I had more time with him. He's only seven or eight years old, and I only had him for the last two. I don't want to have to do this. I don't want to have to say goodbye to my orange.

Happy birthday.
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Date: 2010-05-12 23:39
Subject: Quiet
Security: Public
Gone Dark

I'm not recaping anyone on anything over the last month. It's uninteresting and, truthfully, I'm not even sure what exactly I did, beside a whole lot of nothing. I've been busy, with unimportant, boring things--other then Peter Steele dying, which is a total WTF moment. Like for real, Pete? Why you gotta be dead.

Our pet gazelle:

Writing when you're tired is never safe:

Roderick's expression turned sour as he looked across the opposite side of the room, to where he had laid a formal looking outfit on the back of an old chair. It hung there, lilt tired fall leaves on a breezeless ground.

No part of that makes sense to me. I'm not even sure what I was TRYING to write.

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Date: 2010-04-20 10:34
Subject: Woodsmoke and Dead Leaves
Security: Public
The Nature of Daylight

Saturday we had dinner with Kate and Dan at Ruby Tuesday and then saw Kick Ass. I didn't really want to see it, but I wanted to see it more then I wanted to see Hot Tub Timemachine. So I guess the lesser of two sucks won out. It was dumb. I wanted it to have some overall message, or something, but I felt like the story was super disjointed and while trying to be a "realistic superhero movie" ended up just being a typical superhero movie. All the question of the morality of being a vigilante was tossed out the window when they introduced "Big Daddy" and "Hit Girl," and I felt like they just tossed in "Marcus the Clean Cop" to have a friendly black character. It was a lot of dumb, splattered with a few scenes of curiously well done action and punctuated with a lot more stupid. I'm glad I didn't pay for me ticket.

Sunday we went to Medieval Times. Now that was quality entertainment. As expected it was cheesy, which is something I remembered about it from my last visit in High School, but it was cheesy in an awesome fun sort of way. We were rooting for the Yellow Knight, the hottest of all the knights, and also the first to "die." Andy was nice enough to buy us some drinks before the show with souvenir glasses, and afterward we went back to the house for fire and Castle Crashers.

So, after a pleasantly busy weekend, I felt smashed by a weird depressing Monday. I was irritable all day, initially because of weird bad dreams and then subsequently because of a bout of daily sexism. I was denied the ability to weld a platform for a display unit because the man in charge "just couldn't see me being able to do it," but I was asked to "sew a seat cover" for said unit. What the fuck!?

I'm tired of my job and all the obnoxious stuff I have to do all the time just to keep up with this job. I just want it to be a good, healthy place to work and more often the not I feel shitty here.

After work there was hockey, which I always find a way to enjoy, but I've been hating the people there more and more lately. They are annoying and either says jerky, mean things to me that are supposed to funny or something, and if they don't fit into that model, they just ignore me. There are, like, two or three guys who are actually nice to my face, but as I've observed, they're a bunch of back-stabbing gossipers, so who knows.

On the way out I tried to replace my headlamp. It had been out since Saturday and I had a bulb but I never got around to replacing it. I popped the hood and looking in to see the headlamp mount wedged in a difficult place to get to. After some fidgeting I got it out but couldn't separate the bulb from the fixture. After, like, twenty minutes of this I gave up and looked in the manual. "For headlamp or turnsignal replacement see your authorized Dodge dealership or repair center." WHAT THE FUCK?! For real?

So I replace the broken bulb and go home. Not ten minutes into the drive I'm pulled over for "driving 40 in a 35 with broken headlamp." The cop had me sit and wait for THIRTY MINUTES while he did something in his car, in which time four additional officers showed up to see if he needed help. Finally he comes back and says, "I'm gonna cut you a break on the speeding because you have a clean license, but I have to write you up for a hardware violation. You can appear at court on blahblah day and time to dispute this if you want but I cut you a break."

So that is another $60 gone.

Within fifteen miles I got pulled over again, for the same thing.

So . . . I was glad to get home, until that is, I learned that Andy hadn't taken the dog out since the afternoon and she peed on the kitchen rug. So much for me getting to bed at a decent time. Had to clean the rug, and the floor where she went and still feed myself before bed, which, when it came time to actually try and sleep I did NOTHING but lay in bed till two or three in the morning. It was awful.
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Date: 2010-04-05 15:12
Subject: Live Until We Think We'll Die
Security: Public
Barefoot in the Summer Night

Dog weekend went as expected--we got her. She's not red, as the dudes the developed Castle Crashers illustrated here, but she's still pretty cute, and also a jerk. She's got some food issues, mostly possessiveness, but we'll break her of it soon. I'm looking forward to obedience classes so she starts acting like a good dog and not trouble, but we'll see. My biggest issue is that she's difficult to entertain. She wants to run and play with other dogs, not chase balls and chew bones, and the cats have no interest in playing so puppy-pants is bored, I think . . . and boredom leads to destruction.

Our other issue with her is this "mouthing" thing she's doing. Just little nips and play bites, but we can't have that if guests come over, so I've been after her to not bite, but it's been a super pain in the ass. Was my life hectic enough before her? Have I totally gone off the deep end with this one? Time will tell.
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Date: 2010-04-01 11:17
Subject: The Way Out is Through
Security: Public
Into the Void

Last weekend was Boston. Not to say that the weekend itself manifested as some strange personification of the city, or a giant bloody sock for me to hate on, but that I was in Boston--but the weekend was Boston. We visited PAX East, as sort of a not-so-last-minute-but-still-somewhat-less-planned-then-normal trip. I didn't care for the convention. I was expecting something industry-esque, like a smaller, video-game-centric version of SIGGRAPH (E3Lite?) but was only really given a lot of dissapointing.

The most impressive, and least acknowledged I think, was the indie-games booths in the expo-area. On the edges of these two gigantic ware-houseish rooms were booths lined up with swag and demos of two kids that got together and made a game. Much like the creative smerts that games like Castle Crashers was born from, these indie games were really all very witty and well put together. I also rather enjoyed how the booths weren't packed with average looking girls doing things. I have a hard time with this part: girls play games (hi) and all that, but every booth--EA, Square, 2k, whatever--was decked with girl staff and one plain (or European) man to hand out cheap tee-shirts and bumper stickers. I got the feeling that these big names were really overdoing it with the "girls like Sam Fisher because he's bad-ass, not because they have a daddy complex" thing.

So, more then PAX East, last weekend was Boston.

We spent a lot of our time at Lani's cool city-house talking! I actually felt a little hoarse when I got home from all the chitchatting that we had done, but at the same time, it was good conversation. I feel like a lot of the people in my everyday life I don't have much to talk about with, and when we do talk, the conversation never seems to leave the ground floor. It's a rarity, I think, that you find someone worth talking to for hours at a time.

So this all brings me now to this weekend.

Tonight, Andy and I start the long drive west, back to Indiana. We're stopping on Friday afternoon to see a lady about a dog. I'm super excited. We've been doing a lot of research on shiba inus, including visiting breeders, and I was able to convince Andy to get a rescue. Months of looking and contacting people found us what appears to be a great fit for the house and finally, tomorrow, we will meet her, and hopefully take her home! You know what they say about people who wait . . . .
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Date: 2010-03-18 14:36
Subject: I Just Made You Up
Security: Public
To Hurt Myself

Man, it's been a long while since I've updated. Story of my life, huh.
This past winter was the worst hibernation I've had to record. Between heavy snow falls and dealing with house stuff, I've been a complete shut-in, and on top of that, other when working on my book, I haven't done a DAMN thing (which is a partial lie. I've been playing hockey still and working on the car). The book has even suffered as of late.

I finished The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood a few weeks ago and started reading Ivanhoe shortly after. Robin Hood was pretty good, but very cheery, happy happy fun time, until the very end when there was violence, gore, death and betrayal--just my cup of tea. It seemed a little out of place when compared with the rest of the book, but I liked it pretty well anyway. What I expected from Ivanhoe was a dull flourish of a story about a bunch of dudes and the Crusades and I couldn't have been more wrong. It's beautiful and exciting, with lush characters and great descriptions. Romance, drama, chivalry, violence, gore, death--all the things I love. Ivanhoe is turning out to be a million times better then most books I've read as of late, even if at times the language is a drag. Definatly a book that you have to pay attention to.

The Devils had their throwback jersey night yesterday and Andy and I went to the game. It's the first hockey game that I've been to in MONTHS but it was really really really a lot of fun. Not only did the Devils beat the Pens 5-2, but they did it with style and flamboyance. There were a lot of drunk people around, who made themselves into obnoxious commentators REALLY fast, but other then that it was a great night. I sorta feel bad for both Pittsburg's goalies though--they must be pretty butthurt!

Andy is gone for the weekend to watch basketball with his family which gives me a much needed opportunity to write and relax. Maybe I'll play some WoW with Bill? I also need to call Nikki tonight.
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Date: 2010-01-13 23:38
Subject: Skylight
Security: Public
A Thousand Shades of Grey

When the story of my life is made into a compelling and epic movie series I hope they cast Jeremy Irons to play me. This would probably be altogether impossible for reasons related more to time then gender, but--hey! A girl can dream, right?
I watched, and then re-read Shakespeare's, The Merchant of Venice this week (and it's only Wednesday!) I've always found the story to be . . . a tad painful. I think it was supposed to be a romantic comedy but it really came off, to me as a modern reader, as a woeful tale about greed and justice. Oh yeah, and hate.

I keep trying to ask my former selves what Shakespeare's intention was withShylock--was he really just supposed to be the villianous Jew or was he an allegory for the suffering of Jews at the hands of Christians for, like, ever? According to wikipedia there are two different schools on the play, one of which is that he's just the bad guy and gets what he deserves because he acts like a dick; the other being that he is the tragic victim who is fucked out of everything through trickery and deceptions.

There are good arguments for both sides, of which can be further researched on your own, if you so desire it, but I am inclined to side with the latter argument. Of course, that may be a product of my lot in life, my friends and family, the way I've been raised, but I can't help but feel a little queezy when seeing the treatment and the subsequent behavior of Shylock. The movie made in 2004 [I think] really helped put a face on so much that text can desguise--which is another reason why I enjoy watching the plays, at RenFaires and such, rather then reading them. Shylock's daughter, who really comes off as more of a minor character in the text, is really brought to life by Zuleihka Robinson and as such you can see how she is really the undoing of all the characters. Had she not of run off to convert with--I don't even remember? Lorenzo?--Shylock wouldn't have been so grief stricken to actually seek out Antonio's heart! And the bitch doesn't even care! She acknowledges this fact and is like, "awe hell. Well at least Antonio is alive now, no thanks to me." Completely leaving her dad to rot. Thanks a lot, flakey git.

I could probably go on, but I won't, instead, I'll cut here and turn, instead, my attentions to my new boyfriend: Jeremy Irons. I've always had a thing for old men and where Eric Roberts is my Yuengling, Jeremy Irons is my thirty-three year old GlenDronach. It just so happened that out of the last six or so Netflix I've gotten recently, four of them have been JI movies, and I am just falling in love all over again. I really do hope that I'm able to fast-track my book and magicly get the popularity and cult following to set it in motion to have a movie made, at which time Jeremy Irons (already a huge fan by now) will jump at the chance to play one of the main man roles. That would bring joy to my heart.

Also, there is now a slight chance in hell that Dad's trip to Guana this weekend will have room for me. If that is the case, I will most likely abandon all my friends and responcibilities to go enjoy some not-freezing-New-Jersey-time in the British Virgin Isles. It's good to be the servant's daughter.
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